Acceptance: Into the darkness

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There is that part of me that doesn’t want to think that we need to feel pain and to go into the darkness in order to see the light and to experience the beauty of life. There is another part of me that just wants to hide in the darkness, fearing what others will think of me when they see my own shame, the part of me that I unleashed so unexpectedly. 

The thought of those betrayals, those horrible blows to my trust, cracking the very core of my being, made this dark nightmare I now inhabited feel a little more welcoming. But I could still feel the cold weight of the knife in my hand, feel it sinking into Richard’s soft flesh. I had to wake. I had to know if my anger and rage had turned me into a monster. I had to know what those cracks had set free……… 

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